Top 10 "disappointing" Scottish stereotypes


(from an American point view)

After having spent some time in Scotland I've found that things are not always the way I had pictured them. In the spirit of tearing down the stereotypes I have come up with the following, Letterman-esque list. Hope it amuses...

By-the-way, suffice it to say that not much, if anything, should be taken seriously from this list...


 
 
10 Castles all have satellite TV.
  9 Haggis taste just like chicken.
  8 Actual weight of a caber: less than 5 pounds.
  7 Highlanders don't get pissed when you call their Sporran a purse.
  6 Castle security: Moats out - Retinal scans in.
  5 Loch Ness too cold for Nessie hunt on Jet Skis.
  4 Pink haired clansmen with pierced nipples.
  3 Modern bagpipes play 100 digitally re-mastered Highland favorites at the push of a button.
  2 The guys all wear pants (if you know what I mean).
And... "There can be only one" number one disappointing Scottish stereotype...
  1 No one ever carries a sword and says, "I'm Connor MacSomething from the clan MacSomething."